First Night
by temptingareadaholic
Summary: The first time Alec stayed the full night at Magnus's


**Hi everyone! This is another fic that was part of my 9 days of fanfic. I hope you enjoy it, I might do it again sometime. **

**Disclaimer****: I do not own the characters, they belong to Cassandra Clare**

The Mortal War had come to an end, leaving some celebrating and some mourning. For the Lightwood family, it was mourning. The innocent child, who had never raised a seraph blade to kill, was struck down by the heart of evil. The innocent are always the first, always. Max Lightwood left behind a mother, a father, a sister, and two brothers; all of whom blamed themselves for the tragedy. It was Alec who suffered the most.

Alec, of course, was the eldest and therefore it was his responsibility to protect his younger siblings. If he just hadn't left Isabelle and Max alone with _him _he might still have brother. It was all his fault. If he had just been there, if he hadn't left, but he did. He trusted Sebastian and paid the price. He should have known. How did he not recognize that it wasn't the true Sebastian standing before him? How?

Soon after the war had ended, the Lightwood family traveled back to the institute. Alec remembered slowly pulling himself up the stairs dreading it, dreading having to pass it. The door remained closed, just as he had left it. No light shone through the crack at the bottom; only an eternal darkness. He couldn't take it, that emptiness. He went to his room, packed an overnight bag, and headed to a familiar apartment in Brooklyn.

When he arrived at the doorstep, he reached for his key and realized that he had stupidly forgotten it back at the institute. Mentally scolding himself, he reached up and pressed the doorbell, waiting. He expected to hear the same loud bellow that greeted him the first time he came alone, but instead a weary Magnus opened the door. As soon as he recognized who stood before him, Magnus pulled in Alec, shut the door, and held him as he collapsed in a fit of tears. He cried. He cried for Max's death, he cried for all the times he blew him off, he cried for the times he spent with him, and he cried for every time in the future that was now gone. He was gone. Max was gone.

Alec clung onto Magnus desperately and Magnus just the same. He held him as every tear left his eyes, as every scream left his mouth, and as every shudder left his body. The room that was usually filled with glitter and bright pink couches was now filled with absolute despair. The room darkened as the sun set, but the two still sat by the door.

Eventually the tears stopped coming, as did the screams. With Alec still trembling in Magnus's arms, Magnus picked Alec up and gently carried him to the bed. He set him down and curled up next to him. Resting his head on Magnus's shoulder, Alec said his first words of the night.

"He's gone," he whispered, "and it's my fault." Magnus pulled him even tighter and pressed a kiss to hair.

"Do no you ever think that it was your fault, Alexander. There was nothing you could have done. You have already done enough." He whispered, tears pricking the corner of his eyes. How could Alec possibly blame himself? After everything he's done, he still doesn't think it was enough.

"Magnus, you don't understand. If I had stayed behind with my siblings and if I didn't go off with Clary and Jace…I could have stopped it. He could still be alive…I…" and the tears started to come again.

"Alec," Magnus whispered in a comforting tone, "there's no point in thinking of what could have been done differently. For all we know, if you had stayed, Sebastian could have killed you as well, leaving Isabelle alone. It's over, Alec"

"What am I going to do, Magnus," he sobbed, "he was so young. He hadn't even received his first marks. He hadn't fought in battle. He was only nine and now he's dead." Alec let out a guttural cry as he held onto Magnus tighter. The sound was so heart-wrenching that the tears in Magnus's eyes threatening to fall finally burst through and he soon cried along with him.

"You do the only thing you can," he replied as clearly as could, wanting to hide his tears from Alec, "you remember. You remember Max and make sure that his death meant something." The two remained silent for the rest of the night until sleep slowly brought them in for a temporary peace from the heartless world.

The next morning, Alec did something he's never done before. His eyes opened to see two gold-green ones staring down on him. Alec woke up to Magnus for the first time in his life. He had spent his first night at Magnus's apartment and spared not a single thought to what his parents might think.

**I hope you liked that! After rereading City of Glass, a few things are off I believe. I hope you didn't mind too much. Let me know what you think and review please. Thank you for reading :)**


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